A Time Where People Are More Accepting…

Posted on February 19, 2012 by Jen

I wish I lived…This is the writing prompt for the Blog Dare today. I haven’t done these for a few days with life being a little busier than normal, and thought this one would be a good one to jump back in!

I could say that I wish I lived in Australia. This has always been a dream of mine, but I think I am going to go on a little different tangent. I wish I lived in a time where people were more accepting and understanding.

I am a parent of a child with Autism, more specifically, Asperger’s. He changes my life each and every day for the better. Don’t think that I am saying everyday is all roses, but I am proud of who he has become and look forward to getting to see where he is going in the future. Bean is a smart, funny and loving little guy and I hope that society will someday see him for his ‘ability’ rather than his so called, ‘disability’.

I am an advocate for my son because society doesn’t accept those with Autism as individuals the way they are. Society expects that those living with Autism should change so that they fit the mold that has been created. If they don’t change, they don’t fit in! Seriously, do you not think that those living with Autism have enough challenges, that they also need to worry so much about how society sees them… or doesn’t see them?

I am a home educator for the reason that our local school isn’t accepting enough of our son. The Board does not require teachers and staff at the schools to educate themselves about special needs. I commend those teachers that do take that initiative and spend their own time and money to improve their knowledge. It does make things easier for everyone down the road. If only more people could see that.

As a family affected with Autism, I fear the proposed changes in the DSM-5. Changing the diagnostic criteria certainly doesn’t make Asperger’s and it’s challenges, go away. Yet it seems this is where even the medical professionals are heading. I know so many parents that have fought long and hard to ascertain a diagnosis for their child and now that could be removed. If you remove the ‘labels’ (I do hate that term), the challenges are still there, but now the supports and resources aren’t. This change is also going to affect schools and teachers. There is already a lack of supports! If the same children that were previously diagnosed with Asperger’s are no longer getting the supports, how are teachers going to manage them in classes? Many already can’t! So then what happens? Are these children going to be moved back to self contained classes? Doesn’t this seem like a step backwards where we are again segregating those with challenges rather than accepting their differences and trying to integrate them?

How would you finish this sentence… I wish I lived…?

A Tough Decision

Posted on February 6, 2012 by Jen

By far, the toughest decision that I have had to make would be based around the fact that I homeschool Bean.

It’s hard to make such an important decision when you don’t have the backing of all your family and friends. We, as society, have been so conditioned to think that the public school system is the only way that our kids should be educated. It’s hard to fight the masses! Yet, we do.

Is it an easy thing to homeschool – heck, no! Do I feel it is the right decision for our situation? Yes! Bean wasn’t really learning and he was being bullied (to which nothing was being done on the part of the school). There isn’t enough required education for our teachers today in regards to special needs kids. Are there some great teachers? Absolutely! It is, however, scary to see some of the things that some school staff thinks is appropriate in how to handle special needs kids across Canada and the US.

Hubby and I do have discussions based around Bean returning to public school. These conversations are spurred mainly due to the fact that those around us feel that it is the ‘right’ thing to do. However, we know our son best and what is best for him and also the lack of supports that would exist in public school.

I know the potential that Bean has! He will reach his full potential, it just needs to be in a different way than ‘average’ kids. Until things in the public school system change for the better, he will continue to be homeschooled… and better for it!

Why Do We Homeschool?

Posted on January 21, 2012 by Jen

I am often asked this question when I tell others that we are a homeschooling family.

Bean was diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder when he was four years old. As far as public school goes, he has always had this diagnosis, as they know him. Medical professionals recommended that we skip junior kindergarten and enroll him when he was five years old for senior kindergarten. We followed this advice but within the first two months of school we had to withdraw him due to lack of supports and the inability to ensure that he was safe and was remaining in the school. As a parent of a child with Autism, especially when a child is a ‘runner’, I knew getting that phone call saying that my child had left the school was a very real possibility each and every day.

We kept Bean home for the rest of the senior kindergarten year, though during that time had correspondence and meetings with different school Board members, including the Director of Education. We felt that we had a solid plan in place to start Grade One. Bean now had his service dog, Ollie, and Ollie would be attending school with him on a daily basis.

Once school started, supports again became an issue and we were in the school meeting with different staff daily. It became very draining and we weren’t seeing a lot of progress. January 2010 came and we finally saw a little bit of progress when, after months of negotiating, Bean actually received what we felt were proper supports, as far as staff went. His educational assistant had years of experience with children on the spectrum and, to top it off, she loved dogs! It was a great fit! Bean went from going to school for a quarter day (yes, you heard that right) to attending all day. Certainly it wasn’t without bumps along the way, but this EA was able to work with Bean and actually have him be successful in his day more often than not.

As the year went on, we were informed that when Bean entered Grade Two, he would not be given the same supports. In our local Board, a child with Autism is only ever given a half day EA and that is not guaranteed to be one on one. At that they did offer us a position in a self-contained classroom for children with high functioning Autism. This was a two to three year program after which the students would return to their home school. After tours and many discussions, we decided to give this a try. It was going to be very time intensive as the school was located on the other side of the city. We weren’t comfortable sending him on a school bus each day, along with his service dog. There was just too much potential for problems when the school bus was only equipped with a driver and no other support person.

So each day, we drove a total of approximately two hours in transporting him back and forth to school. We wanted to do what we felt was best for Bean and, as most parents would, we made sacrifices. However, it turned out to be less effective than the ‘integrated’ classroom that he was in for Grade One. This specialized classroom had Bean being bullied, restrained, subjected to negative reinforcements (though we were told that it was all positive in the classroom) and the final straw there was when he again got out of the school, this time crossing a busy road and going to a ‘stranger’s’ house. We became convinced very quickly that public school was just not the place for Bean. At least not in the traditional sense. We needed to ensure our son’s safety, his peace of mind (and ours), and ensure that he was actually learning something and not going to school to be bullied and stressed out each day.

Our decision to homeschool however, wasn’t taken lightly. This was something hubby and I had discussed for the past two years considering our history within the public school system.

Am I happy with our decision? Being honest, it’s been a bumpy ride thus far, but I am now able to ensure that my son is learning in an environment where he is safe and happy. I don’t believe that you need to be around a group of individuals your own age to learn proper socialization. I do believe that exposure to groups of different ages and populations is where socialization is truly learned. We are now able to tailor Bean’s day to meet his needs, not the needs of everyone else. I do believe that everything happens for a reason and that right now, this is what we are supposed to be doing. We enjoy our time as a family and find that the every day stress of ‘advocating’ at the school level means less stress overall.